Hate Hate Hate… a tribute to Melissa
A good friend of mine is such a hater that she makes me look like a peace maker. I’ve learned to embrace her “Hate Hate Hate” mantra and accept when things in life set my inner attitude problem flying into unchartered territory. For entertainments sake I’ll share with you guys every few weeks what makes the Hate, Hate, Hate list. Add to it by all means please….
1. What is with people with NY plates driving in the left hand lane of 95 at exactly 65 mph?
2. Woman packing my groceries at Whole Foods… why would you put chips under a bottle of detergent? Really? And what kind of an a-hole am I for being the kind of person that BUYS CHIPS at Whole Foods to begin with.
3. To the short little man bringing my car up from the parking lot at 57th and 9th… winking at me is not going to make the tip bigger. And my eyes are up here. Thanks.
4. Why are you bringing your 2 small children to Fat Cat? This isn’t Bertuccis.
5. Ladies at the nail salon. I know you’re talking about the fact that I have short toes. I get it. They’re oddly small.
6. Dear tourists in Columbus Circle, The walking man does in fact mean walk. Love, Me.
7. Yes lady – Pinkberry is not Baskin Robbins. Pick a flavor and move on to your toppings… Let’s go. Chop chop.
8. Does the girl working in Sephora with pink eyebrows seriously think she’s cooler me? She may in fact be. I may just be too old.
9. What is with the peep toe boots? I take serious issue with this entire concept.
10. If your thong is hanging out then those cheeks better be nicer than mine.
11. Only in Westport, CT would wearing bikram yoga shorts to brunch be acceptable. Next week I’ll just wear my swimsuit.
12. Am I aging or is the girl in front of me in Starbucks seriously in high school? And when did drinking $5 coffees become something that 16 year olds did?
13. Yes the sidewalk is a two-way passage just like the street. When walking with a friend please walk single file to pass me or else, yes, I will walk into you.
14. I’m totally cool with the homeless guy sleeping in the park but can you keep your stuff contained to your cart because we’re running out of places for people to actually sit.
15. To my neighbor who leaves their junk mail on the landing… Yes I will continue to drop it on your doormat until you get the idea and don’t under estimate me because we can continue playing this game for years to come.
Ok that’s 15 for starters. Plenty more to come.