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Meet Claire and Vanessa, our alter egos

This is the Starbucks cup that started it all. When this was placed before me by an unwitting barista in September 2009, I knew it was time. I needed an alter ego for restaurants, reservations and Starbucks. No more confusion and bastardized spelling. It was over.

For all of you out there with unique names, we feel your pain. Our names were given so that we could cross between English and Polish painlessly. Ha! So much for that on the English end. We don’t think are names are really all that difficult, but somehow they still cause us the tiniest bit of angst in adulthood. Ever heard of the mystery writer, Agatha Christie? or the Saint? Ever heard of the controversial Mary Magdalene? Not too bad, you’ve heard ’em before – Agatha and Magdalena.

But apparently there are outliers who haven’t and we were over it, so we turned to alter egos. Agatha is Claire (prim, proper and easy to annunciate, with a hint of La Française) and Magdalena chose Vanessa (saucy, also easy to pronounce and perhaps some vestiges from a 90s teenhood admiring Vanessa Williams?).

Being Claire at all food establishments has proved quite successful. In fact, just the other day, Cassie, the hostess at my ‘hood haunt Kashkaval, remembered I was Claire (M and I went there for dinner this past weekend) and given her excellent memory, I decided it was time to let her into the secret circle of real names. She knows I’m Agatha now. I think she thought it was a little weird I used an alter ego, but I know at 9 p.m. in a crowded place where it’s loud and serving staff is stressed, that she probably would not have handled Agatha (or Magdalena) that well. So when it doubt, go for the soft launch… and so were born Claire and Vanessa.

Do you use a restaurant alter ego name? Leave a comment! xo

3 Comments Post a comment
  1. Lynne #

    Have a friend named Sandor who uses “Sandy” as a his pseudonym. His last name is a long line of consonants. Thankfully my name is short! 😛

    February 7, 2012
  2. Carey #

    My friend Deitke uses her husbands name Chris.

    February 7, 2012
  3. Little Sis #

    Dietke and Sandor are 1) awesome names and 2) definitely worthy of restaurant pseudonyms with their wonderful uncommonness 🙂 thank you both for reading! – Agatha

    February 15, 2012

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